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Help! I'm overwhelmed and don't know what to do!

by Meghan

I'm a first time mom with a 5 week old baby. I had no idea how hard it was to be a mom. My husband is gone at work for 12+ hours a day, so I am alone with her all day and then get up with her at night.

I have no family in the area and all of my friends work so the only help I have are the few hours my husband is home before bed in the evening.

I love her so much, but I feel like I'm a bad mom because she is crying all of the time. With the feeding, changing, laundry, and keeping up with the cleaning, I don't think I can do it anymore. I feel so frustrated and exhausted that sometimes I just look at her and cry.

I broke down at about 3am this morning when she just would not go to sleep. This woke my husband, and his response was basically, new moms are tired and exhausted, it will get better.

Have any other moms gone through something similar?

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Help! I'm overwhelmed and don't know what to do!

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by: Anonymous

I also have a 5 week old and im in a similar circumstance. My husband gets up at 4am, works all day and is also getting his masters degree some nights - I too, feel guilty when I ask him to watch her when he comes home from work!

His job is emotionally demanding and he's always exausted but it's the only time I can get some things done!

As I sit right now, I woke up at 6 after only 3 1/2 hours of broken up sleep all night and she has not gone back to sleep for a nap.

I get stuck while I wait for her to go to sleep. I wonder what you do with babies when they get a little older and don't nap! (any ideas out there?).

The Early Days With a Newborn Are Tough
by: Felicity

One of the best pieces of advice I was given as a new mum was 'when you and/or your baby are feeling overwhelmed, lonely or miserable, put the baby in the stroller and go for a walk. Even if you don't feel like it, are exhausted, have a million things to do and it feels like too much trouble, do it.'

Obviously you may not be able to do this if it's snowing or whatever (not sure where you live) and it may not be a great idea at 3am, but it was great advice. Somehow, getting out and about helps. You feel less hemmed in by the four walls of your home, you and baby get some fresh air and hopefully some sunlight on your skin, the motion of the stroller soothes bub and you'll feel better for the exercise.

And if you smile, you'll probably have people stop to admire bub and have a short chat which can make all the difference if you're having a bad day.

Try it - it really works! And I have to confess, I really did take one of my sons for a walk in the stroller at about 1am on a balmy Sydney night!

I feel your pain!
by: Tamara Monoskie

My "baby" Jadyn is now 3-1/2, yet I remember those early days vividly, and yes, they are bittersweet memories. The sleep deprivation coupled with a seemingly inattentive husband can be enough to drive any new mother insane.

My husband, bless his heart, was working long hours at his job and did not seem to understand my sheer exhaustion. To make matters worse, his best friend's father passed away when Jadyn was less than a month old, and so he had to spend a weekend out of state.

I felt utterly alone and completely depressed. I would awaken in the middle of the night with Jadyn in my lap and not even remember picking her up.

Looking back with clarity, I see now that not only did I need more rest, I also needed more fresh air and sunshine (since it was fall/winter).

I would definitely let your husband know for both of your sakes, he needs to help with your precious baby (even if that means his falling asleep in the recliner with baby on his lap while you take a well-deserved "power nap").

Best of luck to you. Take comfort in the knowledge that many other moms are going through this struggle with you!

Understandably tired.
by: jlightcap

I remember going through exactly the same thing. I was exhausted and emotional. I felt guilty for wanting my husband to help with the baby. After all, he was at WORK all day long! =) He talked with his male coworkers about how emotional and tired I always was. They told him he needed to be helping more, especially in the night. Of course he couldn't feed the baby, but he could go and get her for me.

This made such a difference for me. I felt much more empathy and support from him because he knew what I was going through in the night. It made the days more manageable. You both are parenting this child. He needs to be more involved. It's one of the first parenting conversations that needs to happen.

Hope all goes well. Remember to nap when she naps. Your house can wait...trust me it will never be as clean as it used to be!!

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Help! I'm overwhelmed and don't know what to do!

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Help! I'm overwhelmed and don't know what to do!